Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tsoisauce

Online | Search for a member

tsoisauce

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tsoisauce's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of tsoisauce's badges

tsoisauce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (6841)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (2568)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31332) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm - work - by HereToLaughAtU (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (19378)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33264) - you deserved it (4468)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (14541)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13078) - you deserved it (31579)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (5649)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8532) - you deserved it (32564)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (15616)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12647) - you deserved it (57914)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (10810)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: