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Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (4878)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (64653)
On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (2647)
On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (5739)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (3603)
On 04/02/2011 at 5:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6701) - you deserved it (54649)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)
Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML
I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7564) - you deserved it (23819)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (7118)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (2744)
On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (7036)
On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14871) - you deserved it (21586)
On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (3612)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:49am - misc - by Mangler (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27327) - you deserved it (2752)
On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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