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100 kick ass comments
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Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (1607)
On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8705) - you deserved it (3665)
On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (1736)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (22960)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (1149)
On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19803) - you deserved it (1770)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (27734)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23054) - you deserved it (2012)
On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (3460)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (8925)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (11434)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (41669)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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