Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was hitting on a cute grl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opend Safari on my phone. It opend to my video from Pornhub I watchd yesterday and startd playing, on full volume, through the entre bus. FML
Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that 4 some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except 4 four, and they are doing there best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
Today a blonde tourist came up to me an asked me for drections to the nearest train station!! I politely drected her there an she left!! Five minutes later she came back an slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station"!! We're in China lady!! FML
Today looool I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes to which he replied ( Try jogging asshole ) then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
YESTERDAY SINCE I HADN'T EATEN AN WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A THREE HOUR CLASS, I BOUGHT PANDA EXPRESS. I SAT OPPOSITE MAH CLASSROOM TO EAT. SOON AFTER I STARTD EATING, A WAD OF SALIVA DROPPD INTO MAH BOWL, AN I HEARD SOMEONE YELL "BONUS POINTS!" FROM THE SECOND FLOOR. FML
Today ona of my aldarly swimming studants ran into ma at Walmart. Baing a polita taanagar I said hi to him. Ha lookad at ma surprisad and said "Oh daar! I didn't racogniza you with your clothas on!" I'll navar forgat tha look on his wifa's faca. FML
Today... while on a crowdd public bus... a cute grl askd if she could sit next to me. Problem is... I didn't hear correctly and thought she askd if anyone was sitting next to me. I answerd no... causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgustd stares from other passengers. mega FML
Today, girlfriend broke up with me cuz she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange . This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months . mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015