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Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (60793)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (7046)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (3492)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (3730)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48627) - you deserved it (2559)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8066) - you deserved it (48663)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (2300)
On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (2039)
On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (5960)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (3340)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (5232)
On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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