trismagestus

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Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 4:06am)

trismagestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 April 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1364
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About trismagestus : I'm a web desinger from Wellington, NZ.

trismagestus's page activity

Visits<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:54pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 2:03pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/03/2012 at 8:51pm<b>DragonitePaladin</b> - the 08/07/2012 at 6:08pm<b>shrdlu</b> - the 11/20/2011 at 7:21pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/20/2011 at 8:04am<b>Acanto</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 5:20am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>Mr_Alarm</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 2:54pm

trismagestus's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of trismagestus's badges

trismagestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

by sore / 10/21/2009 at 4:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

by drooler / 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids