About trismagestus : I'm a web desinger from Wellington, NZ.
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Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (7251)
On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (3809)
On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (2068)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (65020)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (10768)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3231)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (11459)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (35845)
On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (69528)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (2091)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (3266)
On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (482)
On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that’s what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (2503) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (2465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11144) - you deserved it (4234)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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