trismagestus

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Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 4:06am)

trismagestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 April 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1423
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About trismagestus : I'm a web desinger from Wellington, NZ.

trismagestus's page activity

Visits<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:54pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 2:03pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/03/2012 at 8:51pm<b>DragonitePaladin</b> - the 08/07/2012 at 6:08pm<b>shrdlu</b> - the 11/20/2011 at 7:21pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/20/2011 at 8:04am<b>Acanto</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 5:20am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>Mr_Alarm</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 2:54pm

trismagestus's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of trismagestus's badges

trismagestus's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

by chicoallen / 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

by bunkbed / 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

by Skidaddle123 / 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

by Nick / 08/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

by anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 7:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

by Danielle / 08/22/2011 at 3:38am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

by lala7 / 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous