About trismagestus : I'm a web desinger from Wellington, NZ.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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trismagestus's favorite FMLs
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
by chicoallen / 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm / United States / Work
by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
by bunkbed / 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Skidaddle123 / 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML
by Nick / 08/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 7:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML
by Danielle / 08/22/2011 at 3:38am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by lala7 / 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When… Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and… Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He…
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…