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trident01

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trident01

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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trident01's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:10pm

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trident01's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (7866)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39293) - you deserved it (6064)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (6512)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (8955)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49132) - you deserved it (8207)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (8294)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

#21140459
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39171) - you deserved it (4200)

On 05/15/2014 at 8:02am - work - by iworkatofficedepothomes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37771) - you deserved it (5579)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (12527)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49556) - you deserved it (9925)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54916) - you deserved it (7009)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (44772)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46905) - you deserved it (11844)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (10942)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)



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