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travisphy's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
travisphy's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
by M_Kclift1994 / 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Jac / 01/17/2010 at 2:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML
by nude / 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2010 at 10:49am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
by Phoellie / 08/28/2009 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…