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travisphy

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 11:40pm) | Search for a member

travisphy

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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travisphy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of travisphy's badges

travisphy's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (104558)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (6116)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (8983)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63489) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (4631)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

#14809885
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (3895)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:44am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

#14511615
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (2486)

On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (37937)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38809) - you deserved it (3023)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (5423)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60904) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (22930)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (50859)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (4697)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States



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