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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (42722)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (76021)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (4661)
On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (7010)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53336) - you deserved it (4011)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (3552)
On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (3070)
On 02/02/2011 at 9:44am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (1846)
On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (3946)
On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50609) - you deserved it (2172)
On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (19861)
On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9857) - you deserved it (37534)
On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (4656)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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