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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17671) - you deserved it (2028)
On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (1834)
On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4672) - you deserved it (63483)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (4054)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2151)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (1507)
On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17557) - you deserved it (1593)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (3807)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (42598)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (75711)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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