tr1p1n

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tr1p1n

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tr1p1n's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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tr1p1n's favorite FMLs

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

by ughreally / 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy