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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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towboatdude

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towboatdude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 962
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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towboatdude's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

#13823528 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (6090)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (3433)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (4140)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (21702)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (9340)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (4247)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (7057)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (22558)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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