Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

towboatdude

Search for a member

towboatdude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1243
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

towboatdude's last visitors

fenellaisacutecwl727cocainewhoreyellowchocoboPurplexusalexmac222

towboatdude's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

towboatdude's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (5334)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9074) - you deserved it (29210)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (12191)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (5396)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37918) - you deserved it (2645)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (8982)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12335) - you deserved it (31121)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: