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towboatdude

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towboatdude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1238
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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towboatdude's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49572) - you deserved it (5333)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9070) - you deserved it (29187)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (12192)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (2645)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (8979)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12332) - you deserved it (31115)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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