Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

torbey

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

torbey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About torbey : psych student | australian | taken 💕 follow me on instagram: dontmissthepoint | "maybe we are all crazy."

torbey's page activity

Visits<b>P_Cel_096</b> - yesterday at 5:55pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:39am<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:08am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:36am<b>23lf</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:24pm<b>qlortin</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:30am<b>sodapop83</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:23am<b>sccrazy</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:48am<b>applefanatic</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>Xytheus</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:07am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:51pm<b>skychu</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:05pm<b>badnelly123</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:22pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Dario486</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:34pm<b>hare</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:01am

torbey's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of torbey's badges

torbey's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5519) - you deserved it (37982)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6078) - you deserved it (33839)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (2000)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19082) - you deserved it (42702)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56465) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14901) - you deserved it (87274)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (3319)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (474108) - you deserved it (29147)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (70465)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82048) - you deserved it (15013)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (95077)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252944) - you deserved it (59794)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (12540)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20896) - you deserved it (26151)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

#6332
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ginger (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: