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torbey

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torbey
  • Town/Country : Adelaide, Australia
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About torbey : Maybe we are all crazy.

torbey's last visitors

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torbey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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torbey's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (9799)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32489) - you deserved it (7714)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52821) - you deserved it (26717)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50001) - you deserved it (4094)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (4966)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

#13934801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:29am - intimacy - by shopper242 - France

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8328) - you deserved it (29179)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (18352)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52115) - you deserved it (9738)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5125) - you deserved it (36472)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5125) - you deserved it (36472)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5125) - you deserved it (36472)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5193) - you deserved it (31120)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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