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toorudett's favorite FMLs
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/30/2014 at 7:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by beccadabeast / 06/30/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Charitable / 06/30/2014 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Money
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
by ~~~ / 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Puzzlepiece / 06/28/2014 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…