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toorudett's favorite FMLs
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
by blood buddies / 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays
Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML
by notacashier / 07/03/2014 at 8:29am / United States (New York) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by thatsnotmyname / 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML
by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by devdevdev / 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Love
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids