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toorudett

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toorudett
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1055
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About toorudett : Life is what you make it...

toorudett's last visitors

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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toorudett's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (9468)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (5124)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

#21012276
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (11096)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (4774)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (4341)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (8385)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (17825)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (2479)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (5640)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML



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