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toorudett's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Kids
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML
by rachelhope / 07/11/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML
by Useless training / 07/11/2014 at 2:04am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML
by teentee401 / 07/07/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an… Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone… Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started…
- Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my…