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toorudett's favorite FMLs
by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML
by what people do for money / 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by tuck87 / 07/18/2014 at 11:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by toonice / 07/17/2014 at 4:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2014 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML
by lolateverything / 07/17/2014 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML
by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
by betrayed / 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by ballbreath / 07/16/2014 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…