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toorudett's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML
by I Feel Horrible / 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:35am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by wtf? / 07/19/2014 at 1:53am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love
by kids say the darnedest things / 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML
by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML
by LissaMccracken / 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm / Cura?ao / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…