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Today, I Was Getting Ready, When I Hered Dad In The Shower. He Was Singing Along To The Song "The Wheel In The Sky" By Journey. Except He'd Changed The Lyrics An Was Singing, "The Dick On This Guy Needs A Rubbin'." It Turns Out Mom Was In The Shower With Him. FML
Yesterday , at my retail job , a woman cummd to my till wit er purcases. After I scannd all er items , se andd me two small bags. One was filld wit nickel and dimes. Te oter was filld wit cents. Her total was $28.53. Te coins amountd to $22.30. FML
Today, mah boyfriend cutely climbd through mah bedroom window fir some sexy time. He decidd he'd introduce bondage. As I was tid to the bd, completely nakd, we heard looool the front door open. He got scard an left via the window, leaving me handcuffd to mah bd. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet !! She said, ( If your looool so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father cuz I've already banged four guys !! ) FML
Today , I had my end of year physics exam . I wasn't sure about some stuff , so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom . Halfway through , I got up , went to the bathroom , and as soon as I picked up the book , forgot wat I was looking for . I can't even cheat right . FML
Today , mah boyfriend an I were in bd making out!! He then trid to unhook mah bra!! After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully , he shoutd ( Fuck you , bra! ) before hiding his face in the pillows!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015