tomhofer

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tomhofer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1939
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About tomhofer : Moo moo moo moo. I am a cow.

tomhofer's page activity

Visits<b>ChromeThunder</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:01pm<b>bayboo411</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:05am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:00pm<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:09pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:24pm<b>UrWaifuIsShit</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:47am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:22am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>Charlespaintin88</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:43am<b>deathscale500</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:41pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:53am<b>BananaSantos</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:23pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:41pm<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:42am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:11pm<b>duckyd199222</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:19am

tomhofer's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tomhofer's badges

tomhofer's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

by rileycrash / 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

by Ashley Marshburn / 10/17/2010 at 9:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

by whitefox123 / 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

by lonewolf2701 / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / United States / Intimacy