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tomhofer

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tomhofer
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 891
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About tomhofer : Moo moo moo moo. I am a cow.

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tomhofer's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (7441)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (53526)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (4347)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (5824)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (4685)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (37413)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5166) - you deserved it (40113)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (50112)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9752) - you deserved it (45610)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States



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