toastygoat

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toastygoat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2687
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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toastygoat's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:47pm<b>jilldrankin</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Refrigereitor</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:13am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 3:32am<b>volleyballer1197</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 8:06pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:11am<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:00pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/19/2012 at 10:56pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:17pm<b>plantgodess</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 6:43pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:21pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 2:59am<b>FFML_314</b> - the 12/29/2010 at 4:46am<b>multi_python</b> - the 12/25/2010 at 5:05pm<b>Aniblecoby</b> - the 11/28/2010 at 12:07am<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 8:04am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 9:34am

toastygoat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

toastygoat's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

by Username / 01/03/2011 at 6:40am / Intimacy

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 2:03am / United States / Transportation

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

by synyster505 / 12/19/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

by maddiee. / 10/21/2010 at 11:20am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

by JessykaB / 08/28/2010 at 1:49am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

by 12345678 / 12/31/2009 at 3:01am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

by notgay / 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous