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tko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41213
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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tko's page activity

Visits<b>nohalo91</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:01am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:19pm<b>candycyanide</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:07pm<b>fogin</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:24pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 10:03pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:56pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:17am<b>Some_person_here</b> - the 08/16/2010 at 5:10am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 9:15pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 9:02pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 11:30pm<b>amy1504</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 5:02pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 2:48pm<b>morningwoody</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 2:11am<b>NamelessNeko</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 2:00am<b>omgitsnikkie</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 11:42pm<b>ShinkuBara</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 5:47pm<b>steffibug</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 3:34pm

tko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tko's favorite FMLs

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67764) - you deserved it (5520)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86751) - you deserved it (4161)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102691) - you deserved it (21839)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89811) - you deserved it (21999)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47763) - you deserved it (12222)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66103) - you deserved it (5976)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (24850)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

#2387828
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66552) - you deserved it (5508)

On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (19343)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (14413)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

#1587848
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (70404)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71973) - you deserved it (16881)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (84491)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)



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