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tikimuppet

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tikimuppet
  • Town/Country : devon, england
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 December 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4150
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tikimuppet's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of tikimuppet's badges

tikimuppet's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (30642)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7585) - you deserved it (47123)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (4264)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (80984)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (83601)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (33193)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (227836)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15380)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74550) - you deserved it (5747)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55095) - you deserved it (9619)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (76072)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (61007)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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