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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (66845)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (5780)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37331) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (6211)
On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17197) - you deserved it (1565)
On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (7118)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5375) - you deserved it (44651)
On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (5420)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (5737)
On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (9596)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)
Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (453)
On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (47558)
On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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