This member hasn't filled in the description.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (894)
On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53544)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (4809)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62306) - you deserved it (11803)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (24882)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (43723)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (52823)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39308) - you deserved it (6354)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38952) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (4797)
On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (69242)
On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (3851)
On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (2975)
On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (9863)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20377) - you deserved it (2069)
On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
