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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26208)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (2558)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (11930)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (36784)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (4147)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (4597)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14573) - you deserved it (29289)
On 08/11/2011 at 5:35am - misc - by maryrain - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (82500)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (52691)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8186) - you deserved it (66944)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (4244)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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