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tikimuppet

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 1:18am) | Search for a member

tikimuppet

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4467
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tikimuppet's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 12:10pm<b>yareens</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:11pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:47pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:03am<b>zuzuily</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:24pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:09am<b>infected150</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:21am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:29pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:06pm<b>beaubuck</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:02am<b>tedthompson66</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:11pm<b>grajax</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:50am<b>lurch87</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:01am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:19am<b>marleybree</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:22am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:54pm

tikimuppet's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of tikimuppet's badges

tikimuppet's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (2206)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (4970)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14574) - you deserved it (36887)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48601) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (3286)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (16794)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (49176)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (5489)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (112663)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)



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