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tiffanynickole's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy
by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
by igiveup / 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
by daughterinlaw / 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by Awks / 11/30/2012 at 1:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site… Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and… Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some…