Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

thwei

Search for a member

thwei
  • Town/Country : Santa Barbara, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 619
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About thwei : Sup ho

thwei's last visitors

SopranoRoses215MornaiVinoVeritasSGT_DBL

thwei's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

thwei's favorite FMLs

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (17640)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (37287)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

#13919837
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7243) - you deserved it (28466)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:39am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

#13183751
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7159) - you deserved it (18732)

On 09/24/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (2650)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (3722)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (427)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (2299)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (5495)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML

#6278567
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4638) - you deserved it (34873)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203556) - you deserved it (59417)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (193836) - you deserved it (21256)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by