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thummel75

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  • Number of visits : 822
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thummel75's page activity

Visits<b>friferntien</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 5:19am<b>Andosworld</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:36pm

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thummel75's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (95653)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

#1680929
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15086) - you deserved it (60797)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (266726)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

#1507278
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (23309)

On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (226233)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64392) - you deserved it (6828)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (696341) - you deserved it (55857)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML

#909539
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41119) - you deserved it (17289)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:07am - health - by masterdisaster (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348294) - you deserved it (38605)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86323) - you deserved it (17865)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58251) - you deserved it (3548)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (287129)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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