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thummel75

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  • Number of visits : 891
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thummel75's page activity

Visits<b>friferntien</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 5:19am<b>Andosworld</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:36pm

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thummel75's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13675) - you deserved it (50119)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (10012)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (7792)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (3374)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7207) - you deserved it (65771)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the medications my doctor gave me for depression are making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

#16683131
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (5566)

On 06/15/2011 at 8:24pm - health - by DarkMaskDiva (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (4368)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (3617)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (4382)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (81865)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

#13978188
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (5506)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (10487)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11217) - you deserved it (35927)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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