thr33things

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thr33things

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1533
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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thr33things's page activity

Visits<b>ColbyM88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:10am<b>The_Cringe</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 2:18pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:16pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 11:39pm

thr33things's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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thr33things's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

by Creepster / 01/13/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

by Michelle / 01/09/2010 at 11:11am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

by ugly5402 / 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

by sickofsick / 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States / Health

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

by funyfunkid / 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my pit bull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He had peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60 dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

by dogless / 12/04/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

by Cpm / 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

by ohjoy / 11/18/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous