This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178025) - you deserved it (61466)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2846)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70943) - you deserved it (8743)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (2954)
On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5085) - you deserved it (47714)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5430) - you deserved it (15482)
On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5076) - you deserved it (21830)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4836) - you deserved it (34042)
On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43806) - you deserved it (3375)
On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version
Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (6923)
On 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70430) - you deserved it (11889)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:28am - love - by Anonymous -
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
