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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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thor89

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thor89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 746
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thor89's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377 (355)

I agree, your life sucks (62134) - you deserved it (4252)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (23559)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

#11867771 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (5253) - you deserved it (43340)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by Eyefreshener (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (13388) - you deserved it (1462)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (4337)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (7445) - you deserved it (14081)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (12664) - you deserved it (6578)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

#8336704 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (4903) - you deserved it (17432)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:43am - work - by alex (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was nearing completion on a ridiculously long assignment that was due in a few hours, my drunk roommate stumbled through the living room, tripped over my Ethernet cable, and yanked my laptop to the hardwood floor, breaking it in half. He then vomited upon the halves. FML

#8332640 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1694)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by timewilltell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (3597)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (1471)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (914)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (12065) - you deserved it (3366)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)