thompson45acp

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Offline (the 08/18/2015 at 6:14am)

thompson45acp

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 817
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thompson45acp's page activity

Visits<b>xyris</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:41pm<b>FrostyWater741</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:48pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:09pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:36am<b>Lorenzzon</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:09am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:58pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:51am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:01pm<b>AJAM222</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MrsWojtowicz</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 2:51pm

thompson45acp's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of thompson45acp's badges

thompson45acp's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML

by melikeyturtles / 11/02/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Love

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

by pain / 11/01/2011 at 10:52am / United States / Health

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy