thescottymo

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thescottymo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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thescottymo's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:50am

thescottymo's FML badges

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thescottymo's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:37am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 6:34am / Oman (Masqat) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

by fml / 03/07/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals