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thescottymo

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thescottymo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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thescottymo's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (1716)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (4195)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (5272)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

#19556007
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (6652)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33126) - you deserved it (4454)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (43737)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55680) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (27746)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (2209)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (7375)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19735) - you deserved it (63811)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10941) - you deserved it (32853)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (17409)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (20402)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (3363)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States



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