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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (15874)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (44280)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38295) - you deserved it (10775)
On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (3573)
On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65699) - you deserved it (2788)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (58144)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52588) - you deserved it (6369)
On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (12596)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (3270)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54811) - you deserved it (4108)
On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48625) - you deserved it (3736)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48983) - you deserved it (3905)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (2719)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46448) - you deserved it (4433)
On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39365) - you deserved it (8986)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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