Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About theredheadriot : Mwahahaha you clicked on me....you are now under my control!!!! *_* Loves: Yaoi, rap, toontown, Queen, anime/manga, reading, amusement parks, my super long, thick, wavy red hair, snowboarding, video games and Shane Dawson. ^_^ Hit me up on Kik: theredheadriot ♥ ok you can have your mind back now ;P
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Friday 3 July 2015