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thequeenofscots

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thequeenofscots
  • Town/Country : New York, New York
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53530
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thequeenofscots : I'm a crotchety old woman who devours little children and eats men for the fun of it.

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thequeenofscots's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105333) - you deserved it (4664)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55525) - you deserved it (7411)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (73232)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML

Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

#2387828
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (3806)

On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)



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