Just a roaming ronin...
Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10671) - you totally deserved it (2014)
On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you totally deserved it (1012)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:01pm - misc - by wowjuststop - United States (Virginia)
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you totally deserved it (2884) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you totally deserved it (742) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you totally deserved it (1374)
On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you totally deserved it (761)
On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you totally deserved it (1605)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5150) - you totally deserved it (27563)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you totally deserved it (2961)
On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you totally deserved it (4260)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you totally deserved it (1460)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)
Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you totally deserved it (1630)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you totally deserved it (2327)
On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you totally deserved it (1029)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you totally deserved it (1265)
On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
