Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About theluckyones : The most concise definition of normal is “being approximately average".
Doesn’t that sound so super exciting? I sure hope in my life I can reach the amazing goal of being approximately average..
My favorite band is Blink-182.
Mark hoppus and Travis barker are incredible.. Yea and Tom Delonge too lol
BE AGGRESSIVE.. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!
(My birthday is actually August 17I'm not sure why that's always changing on here)
Im 5'1 1/2 I'm pretty petite:/
I'm German, Brazilian and Tahitian.
I'm a small town girl with big hopes and dreams :,)
Haha I've actually never said that but who doesn't have big hopes for themselves?..
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015