About thebluewizard : GIVE ME BACK THAT FILET-O-FISH!
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thebluewizard's favorite FMLs
by student414 / 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom (Poole) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
by Noname / 10/29/2011 at 7:02am / United States / Animals
by backstabbed / 10/29/2011 at 3:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
by -__- / 10/28/2011 at 7:50am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm / United States / Work
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…