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the_deuce

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the_deuce
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4169
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About the_deuce : I am a pretty mean person sometimes, I admit it. And I love FOOD!! If you mess with me or my FOOD!! you will feel my unending wrath!! And I mean that to the harshest extent. I am very negative. I love animals, especially my baby Shadow [Akita/German shepherd mixed]. I am into music poetry art food [again] and thas about it.

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the_deuce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (7263) - you deserved it (53627)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (2059)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (32347)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10380) - you deserved it (28891)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (2840)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (20510)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (1384)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (1690)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857 (471)

I agree, your life sucks (48404) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

#5410009 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (5795) - you deserved it (29439)

On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (34599)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (11008)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (9691)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (8080)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)