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thatsmylyfe's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML
by Lameartist / 02/12/2012 at 5:36am / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML
by IHateBeingAStudent / 02/12/2012 at 4:43am / Money
Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML
by TowelSinger / 02/12/2012 at 3:07am / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML
by That_guy / 02/12/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML
by ulring / 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm / United States / Money
by soupisyummy / 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML
by Gabby / 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by ilana / 02/10/2012 at 4:51am / United States / Kids
by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…