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thatmadgirl13

Offline (the 03/06/2014 at 5:02pm) | Search for a member

thatmadgirl13

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  • Number of visits : 88
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thatmadgirl13's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

#21124555
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45538) - you deserved it (7976)

On 04/27/2014 at 6:08pm - love - by phuckbukket7 (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43369) - you deserved it (9400)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

#21084209
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (6546)

On 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (11099)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47245) - you deserved it (6686)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (3717)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (3479)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53152) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42906) - you deserved it (8978)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (39081)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47442) - you deserved it (19024)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (59126)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63606) - you deserved it (4283)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (4732)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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