thathurts

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thathurts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1155
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thathurts's page activity

Visits<b>idefka</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:29am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>sanghera43</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:55pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:56pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:43pm<b>bdonxtreme</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 6:44am<b>MacItUp</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:43am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 3:39am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:52am<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:55am<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 8:59am<b>hopsinordie</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 2:30am<b>superdom</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 8:29am<b>perdix</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 7:37pm

thathurts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

thathurts's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

by Kamburgler / 07/02/2011 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

by footfood / 06/27/2011 at 10:56am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

by flattened / 02/10/2011 at 5:58am / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy